#8: The Pot of Teeth.

This is another gift in the same vein as The Crying Blue Face of Shame -it was made by another Chinese student in our English Plus Pottery class.

I should point out that it neither contains teeth, nor is it made from teeth. it's just the protuberances  look disturbingly like them, sticking out from some vile beige maw.

This pot has sat on my desk for quite  few years, and provides a home for The Crying Blue Face of Shame.

He's still watching you from his betoothed home.

#7: The Crying Blue Face of Shame.

Back in the day when my college had money and ELT was better-funded, we had time and means to do other activities to enhance our learners' experience. Students could choose activities such as Art & Design, Woodwork and Pottery.
This is where The Crying Blue Face of Shame comes from.
One of our Chinese students made it. Why it is blue, why it is crying and why it is the Face of Shame are a mystery.
Why it was then given to me is an even greater conundrum.
I tried using it in class to indicate to students that they had made a mistake, but it creeped everyone out.

it's blue, it's crying and it's looking at you.

#6:Booze

Gifts from students can be broadly categorised as being ephemeral in nature or something longer lasting. Admittedly, many of those in the latter category tend to end up not being quite so permanent, i.e. they end up in the skip.
This one is a very welcome example of the former category, falling into the branch of gift taxonomy denoted 'gifts potable'.

Coke shall NOT be added to this one.

This lovely present was from my Entry 3 class in this June. I have to say that they've been a delight to teach, and are very generous to boot. Alcohol-wise, they've got me down pat: Previously, they've given me decent bottles of shiraz and high end Polish vodka.

At this point, may I point out that I am not some kind of dipsomaniac, and these gifts do go a long way. 

Most of the time.

Not everyone gets it right, however: I was once given a bottle of chanpagne by a student. 

Well, I say champagne.

Perhaps "Champagne".

Or even "Something fizzy".

It was Bulgarian and dusty. When I opened it, a brown fluid oozed out.

#5: A fake stuffed bird in a presentation case.

Not the actual one I got, but not far off.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that things given unto teachers are generally eaten, drunk, put into storage, thrown out or regifted as soon as possible. Such is the case with this delightful item. This was actually the first Teacher's Day gift I was given, back in 1993. I was working in Izmir, Turkey, and I was surprised to discover that they had a whole day dedicated to teachers. A student came up to me, smiling, and handed me this delight. 'Happy Teacher's day, my teacher!' he said, putting this in my hands. Later on, in the staff room, we compared presents. I was lucky: someone had a singing Elvis mirror, while another had a little bright orange yapping dog that did backflips.

Strangely, my plastic stuffed birds in their presentation case disappeared, so you will have to make do with this very close approximation of it in all its glory.

#4: A camel.

Yes. A Camel. Not a real one, obviously. That would be daft.

What a lovely little camelid this is.

This particular camel was a gift from the HEM Moroccan students we had. They would come as a cohort during January, having English lessons and generally dreaming of going shopping somewhere else. When the time came for them to depart, their minders would shower the English department with little gifts.

Much top notch craftsmanship has been spared in its making.

This is one of the better little things I have had.

Actually, I have been proffered live animals in the past, including a sheep, but sadly no camels. 

What, no toes?

A colleague of mine was once offered a whole dead chicken. At midnight. By a student who proposed to her on bended knee, chicken in hand, in the sawdust of his uncle's chicken shop. She, too, made her excuses and beat it.

#3: A Thank You Teacher Mug.

I actually have several Thank You Teacher Mugs in various dusty spots at home: this is just the latest iteration. 

It also appears to be Very amazing, although I can't think why. Perhaps it's something to do with the rabbit.

Mugtastic.

Mugs are actually quite useful, not only for coffee, but also for storing things you might need in. Like pens, or string, or bits of Blu Tack to decorate ducks with.

#2: Marmite.

Students frequently proffer gifts of food and drink, presumably because most English as a Foreign Language teachers look as if they are on the verge of expiring from a lack of sustenance or booze. Among the many disgusting interesting British culinary delicacies my learners come across in their sojourns is Marmite. 

Mmmm.

I have known many to purchase it in the mistaken belief that Marmite is somehow related to marmalade, and is therefore sweet.

They are rapidly disabused of this notion the minute they ingest a large spoonful.

Fortunately, I love the stuff, and generally waste no time letting my tutees know this. As a result, I have been the recipient of several Marmite-related gifts, some of which haven't even been opened, over the last few years.

#1: The Duck of Fancy.

I should own up on this one. I wasn't actually given this duck. I kind of inherited it from another teacher who was given it. This duck has graced my PC tower for the past 7 or 8 years. It frequently has new hairstyles or headgear, largely made out of blu tack.

Quack.

Quack quack.

Various ceramic oddities have a tendency to be given as gifts to me and my fellow ELT teachers. 

The Joy of Gifts

You know how it is: It's Teachers' Day in your country, or Christmas, or your birthday, or the end of term. Your students want you to know how they feel about you, and so give you a heartfelt token of their appreciation.

Hopefully.

"For me?" "Yeah, I've injected it with vodka."

I've been lucky to have some fantastic students over the years, so I thought I'd share with you some of their tokens of appreciation. Some have been wonderful, some have been WTF, but they all have a story somewhere.

This short blog will highlight some of these stories.